August 16, 2024
If I were to pick two words for the trip so far they would be Generosity and Wonder. Today we will talk about generosity
Generosity-
The funny thing is… when I got on this boat, I am certain that I literally know the least out of any one on the boat. Some people might say, no that can’t be true, but trust me it is. Everyone is either an expedition/ship professional or an Earth Science student. That being said- everyone has been so generous with me. Generous with their time to share each detail about what we are doing, how their job works and everything I could possible wonder about ocean sciences and life at sea.
The most generous thing has been how people have been eager to engage with my research and passion to think about planting mental health in the wild, and speculate about sensors and measurements that could be used.
One of my activities is “Sensus Apparatus” where we make a micro art project of a sensor that if used, could sense someone’s wellbeing, and also aid the viewer in knowing what one needs. Then these imaginary sensors, when combined with the larger group, could be displayed in open spaces so a community could be responsive and support each other’s wellbeing. I was so pleasantly surprised that EVERYONE in the science lab took part, students, Visions team, and even our new friends in the Applied Physics Lab and the Atlantis crew made sensors.
It was so fun watching everyone dive in with their sensor making and see the variety of designs and ideas that people had!
August 13, 2024
Where the clouds meet the deep blue sea.
Where the clouds meet the deep blue sea, that’s where you’ll find me.
Hidden and unsure, an entirely new world emerges. What will we find, where the clouds meet the deep blue sea?
New environments, new experiences, new skills, new learnings, new questions and new friends. What is here today, will it be there tomorrow? Like the ever so fragile as the Deep Sea Octopus, so beautiful and haunting, filled with copper, shortening your days. Will I be the only one to see you? Do you see me too? What do you see when you look into Jason’s ever lasting stare? Will I live on in you, like you will live on in me?
Inked on my foot is waves…. “And still I rise” it says. Every moment we rise and fall with the waves, sometimes gentle and calm, sometimes wild and disruptive. How fitting the sea. But where do the clouds meet the deep blue sea? I fear the days where my memory fades, when I won’t be able to remember exactly the way it felt when I took a deep breath from the deep blue sea and felt alive.
Many things may come and go, but I am sure this memory will never fade.
Alive, alive where the clouds meet the deep blue sea.
August 12,2024
I know last night is one of the memories that I will cherish most. As it got later into the evening, Deb asked people if they would be staying up to see the hydrothermal vents. Everyone had been feeling a little tired, yet as Jason arrived at the vent, the control van filled.
As the clock struck midnight, each student emerged from their various sleep cycles to watch the hydrothermal vent dive together. The van was cold and quiet, and Deb shared details about the vents, telling stories of their explorations.
When we first met, I asked what kinds of things Katie studies, “I like invertebrates” to which I replied, “oooh I like vertebrates.” I happily recalled that moment, as we sat in the dark glow of the control van, and we approached our first hydrothermal vent alive with the movement of invertebrates. I immediately fell in love with beauty of the invertebrates too.
A colony of scale worms (that looked more like battle ready red cloaked cock roaches to me) was hanging out in a whole forest of tube worms, Deb said she had never seen that many grouped together before. There was this HUGE tube worm… I mean, this thing was really massive compared to its buddies, perched above the scene.
It was so special to have so many people in the van, Deb narrated the dive, sharing with us how the vents where formed. It makes me wish I would have taken a geology class at some point to understand more about the chemical process of the formation of these beautiful jagged stacks of life. You could visibly see the flow of the heat in the water. The “heat gradient” rapidly changes from 2 ° to 350°C in a matter of a couple inches.
I have fallen in love with the boat….. the way it moves, the way we are all a team. Everyone has their own job to do, but ultimately we are all working towards the same goals. There is something really relaxing about the flow of each day, everyone taking their 4 hour shifts- 24 hours a day, you start to see who is on your shift form the other teams. You also sometimes see someone totally new that must be from a different shift from you in the mess hall. It’s a type of collect focus I have never really been a part of before.
August 11,2024 Discovering mental health through speculative design in the deep blue sea.
How do we create sensors and measurement tools to support mental health in the wild?
A core component of my research is that human’s have never enacted mental health and wellness at scale. We’re a species that have achieved many things, but one that has escaped us is how to care for our own and our community’s mental health. In my field, Human-Centered Design and Engineering, problems like this are called “Wicked Problems”. These issues have many facets, making them feel impossible to solve.
One technique is to engage with “speculative design” using “futurism.” Instead of researching solutions to today’s problems, we imagine a desired future and start to build elements of that future. Through the process of engaging with the future and creating artifacts, we gain insights on ways to enact that desired future.
In my particular case, I am VERY interested in sensors and measurements to support thriving mental health and wellness. So for my VISIONS’24 Expedition, I have created a 4 design probes for my fellow shipmates to engage in with me. See, everyone on this ship has the primary destination to support the sensing and measuring of the health of the ecosystem.
Another core component of my research, is creating novel, human/Earthling centered methods that allow for novel ideas about replicable mental health, I hope to call this Designing in Neural Novelty. In a very Steve Harvey, Family Feud style, if you asked 100 people on the street what mental health is, often people instead describe the absence of mental illness symptoms. I would like to push this boundary farther. I would like for people to define their mental health as they see fit and be able practice behaviors that create the life they want to live. I would love for people to be able to spot the moments when they go from thriving to surviving to struggling, in hopes that we can promote thriving earlier, to prevent more impactful mental illness experiences.
VISIONS’24 Expedition is an EXCELLENT setting for Designing in Neural novelty. First- The Atlantis and a deep sea adventure is a totally novel experience for most of us on the boat. Our sleep schedules are off, our physical senses are off, and we are around totally new people and new environments. We don’t have our typical neural pathways engaged, we are growing new ones.
Prior to coming on the boat- I engaged in qualitative analysis of previous blogs to get insight to the types of experiences that people have, after sharing some ideas with Deb and Katie, I was pleasantly surprised to find a few activities that happen naturally on the boat that lined up well with some probe ideas I had.
- Nautical Knots and Signal Bracelet/Lanyards
- In this activity, we practice embodied crafting, using paracord to tie various knots in a keep sake from the trip
- I added a “signal” word beads to the lanyards to serve as a reminder for thriving, and a word to represent a person needed to check in and care for their wellbeing.
My signals for these are “Adventure” and “Rest”
- SensUS Apparatus
- In this activity again, we took plastic “sensor lenses” and used sharpies to draw a sensor unit, that when held up in front of you, would allow the viewer to “sense” you and be able to know how to understand and possibly care for you. If you combine multiple sensors collectively could sense the wellbeing of a community or group.
August 10, 2024
Today, I woke up with a startle! My vision had gotten pretty blurry over night, I couldn’t even read the text on my phone no matter how close or how far away it was. Luckily, blurry vision can be a side effect of scopolamine patches. I was able to go to the bridge and consult with Andrew the Chief Mate. He helped me make a plan to survive the 19 hour haul to Axial Seamount that we embark on today.
As a Neurodivergent person, being in the control van, is sooo peaceful. There is a soft whirrrr of the machines and servers running, but for the most part there is very little talking or noise and its pitch black except the glow of the monitors and beep boop buttons.
I enjoyed just sitting and recouping from the seasickness and yuck feeling I had for a while. I will definitely be spending more time in the control van. The crew worked speedily to problem solve a GPS disconnection, and soon we were back on our way to the 2,900 meters to the seafloor.
As we got to the floor, my breath was taken away, as we saw this beautiful white, gray and purple Muusoctopus. I was in awe of its simple majesty, and even got choked up a little bit at its beauty. Nikola told me that we might get visited from a “weirdfish” at our current site, as it usually comes and checks things out. Nikola must be a fortune teller as weird fish did in fact show up.
I later learned that Deb calls her the one we saw, Mrs. Weirdfish. Mrs. Weirdfish is very curious, and inspected all of our activities down below.
There is really nothing like standing at the helm of a massive ship like this, looking into the horizon, with nothing but sapphire blue sea in any direction.
We had our first official student meeting today, complete with our Macramé/Nautical paracord Monkey Fists, and bracelets. Its been so welcoming that everyone is curious and happy to engage with my speculative design probe activities.
August 9, 2024
Today I had my first official shift in the control van, and I LOVED IT. Walking in feels like a spy movie, there were 3 GIANT screens that each had 4 split screens on them, and around 13 or 14 smaller screens displaying a variety of camera angles and navigational tools, big FBI van energy.
It was fascinating to watch Jason’s robot arms grabbing plugs with the pincher claws. It so reminded me of my kids (10 & 12), obsession with claw machines. I wondered if either of them would be interested in being a rover pilot, on a team like Jason. Unlike a claw grabber machine, which is really there to take your money in the hopes of a coveted stuffy or a plastic gizmo, this “claw machine” can be a human extension in the deep. I watched the Jason pilot use the claw to grab the end of plugs to remove the cable array from the old equipment and replace the new equipment.
I had heard the earlier shift had seen a blue shark, so I was really hoping to see what Katie calls “Charismatic Megafauna,” somehow that phrase is stuck in my head as “Big Megafauna Charismatic Energy.” We did not see any charismatic megafauna, but it was still amazing to see feather stars, or Crinoids on the unit we were replacing.
One of the funny observations I made, is that the entire team of human’s that run Jason, are also called, Jason as a collective. I thought Jason was an acronym, but it turns out it was named after the leader of the Argonauts in Greek mytholology.
After my Jason shift, I got to watch a cycle for the CTD collection. I’ve waited my whole life since 9th grade chemistry with Mr. Hanson to see a BEAKER in action for real for real, and it happened TODAY.
I think it was today, that I got a better idea of how VISIONS on Atlantis runs. In a way, it feels like the Atlantis is a living organism, and we are the cells inside making everything work, everyone has a purpose, a role, and we all move together.
August 8,2024
Today we embark on our journey along the Regional Cable Array! As we left the Newport harbor, you could feel this distinct change in the boats movements. Most of the awake team members walked out to the bow of the ship to watch us leave. We saw some harbor seals jumping out of the water and playing as we left.
There isn’t really anything like heading out to sea for 10 days, and I didn’t realize how seamlessly all the crew, the scientist, the engineers, and the ships crew work together when there are so many moving parts and such a busy schedule. I love the complete supportive space that everyone has created for us students. It truly feels as if there are no stupid questions, and everyone is energetic about sharing information about marine and cruise life.
Today we had our safety meeting and learned the emergency evacuation. The seasickness did hit me pretty hard today, but some rest helped get me back. Atticus found a Crinoid (also called sea lilies) and a teensy tiny starfish so we gave them a little photoshoot.
Anna and Ella, the ships awesome SSG’s, showed us how to prepare CTD- Conductivity, Temperature and Depth unit. This unit also senses and measures, Photosynthetically Active Radiation, PH. Atticus shared with me that the Fluorometer, is actually a proxy for chlorophyl, which in turn is a a proxy for how much phyto planton there are. Similarly, the conductivity is a proxy for salinity, as more salt make it better conduction.
I have been getting familiar with the boat and procedures, and shipmates are sharing their roles (and what kinds of things they like to measure). I get really excited when thinking about designing new measurements for mental health, which is a big reason why I am here. To understand measurement and signals outside of how we normally think about things in the medical system, and also to recognize signals early for earlier interventions. On this ship, there are multiple spiralbound notebooks filled with all of the different types measurement gear.
I can’t help but think how odd it is that we don’t have more measurements or sensors for mental health and wellbeing. We use tools such as the Patient Health Questionnaire-9 to understand if someone self-reports elements of depression. However, unlike the CTD that can collect data in a variety of locations with the same accuracy, most psychometric measurements are primarily validated in small segments of the population, and don’t often translate well for people with different cultural or linguistic experiences.
I am very keen to understand what ‘sensors’ or ‘measures’ can be used earlier in mental health, building resilience to prevent mental health decline. My original foray into AI was training a chat bot to help nurses spot signals of self-harm and suicidality in primary care patients, following that, we used machine learning to look for warning signs of self-harm in participants. Largely I am on the boat to be inspired and think about my work in WILD contexts. What can I learn about sensing and measuring mental health from the Visions’24 members? The next 8 days will tell!
August 6, 2024 – Day 0
Wow! Today is really here. Months ago, an email came across my desk, inviting scientist to come on a deep sea expedition, VISIONS’24. I thought as a Human-Centered Design & Engineering PhD, I might not have a lot to offer the ship. I was pretty surprised when I got an acceptance into the program. Fast forward to today I woke up early, bags were a little overstuffed, excited and nervous to get into the white UCars for our 5+ hour journey to Newport, Oregon. In the car ride, I got to hear stories from Deb, Katie and Atticus about past cruises, and all of their amazing work, discovering non-volcanic methane vents, creating, designing and acquiring funding from the NSF for the Regional Cabled Array program, VISIONS, ecological research all over the world and using machine learning for visual analysis.
I always love rolling into beach towns, when you get a hint in your nose of that pacific sea air, and you can hear the gulls song. Today was no different, to be honest, it was a bit majestic to go over this huge bridge in Newport, and place eyes on the Atlantis for the very first time.
We carried our luggage up the gangway and down the long flight of stairs (not to self- next time bring a DUFFLE Bag.. or small duffle bags), didn’t find my bedroom, and went back UP the stairs, then down another set, and finally found our room! I was pleasantly surprised by how spacious the rooms are! I quickly put my stuff down, and then went to explore the ship.
I got to explore our the boat with my class mates, in a way I felt like a little kid in the department store after close. Everyone was busy doing other things, so we just roamed the ship. Some point in the night we took a couple walks on the NOAA pier, see all kinds of bones that seagulls had brought up to snack on. We even saw a river otter on the bridge and going back to the rocks on the shore.
One of the crewmates, Roscoe, pointed out that there was a spotted seal using the hull of the ship to hunt fish. I waited and saw it emerge on its back, I can’t help but see a smile on seals faces, and sure enough it dove down, a swarm of fish came up next to the hull and the seal happily munched away. I took a little stroll down to the end of the pier to look out, and immediately got sprayed by motion activated sprinklers that are there to keep the seagulls. I giggled and brushed the water away, and went back to enjoying the rest of the scenery. Across the water from us is some fish processing places, and a bunch of rocks with sea lions basking and barking. Anytime you step off the ship, you can hear the “arf arf arf” song they sing.
There was just enough haze on the horizon to produce a beautiful sunset. One whole night didn’t pass by before lively discussion about mental health and being at sea was brought up, and I felt very affirmed that the speculative work in mental health for teams in extreme/high stress contexts has its place here on the Atlantis… and that means so did I.
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